Life is not easy. You probably didn’t need me to tell you that. I just felt compelled to say it. Since I was diagnosed with MS I have faced moments that have scared the life out of me. I remember, after we had moved to a new town, my new neurologist wanted to draw a lot of blood and test me for all manner of stuff. Almost 10 viles!!! Good grief buddy…I’m not gonna have any blood left! Not to mention, being “tested” isn’t a peaceful event because there is always the panic that they will find something. Ugh. It’s a vicious cycle.
The truth is… I’m a bit of a drama queen when it comes to panic moments. I can panic and brood with the best of them. Actually, not to brag, but I think I am the best worrier I know. My husband recently told me that I’m a frequent flyer to worry land. For example, while we are on the flying topic, I am a white knuckle flier. As white and knuckliest as they come. I can worry a full plane load of people for an entire 4 hour flight. Furthermore, I am convinced that if I didn’t worry us through the flight, odds are good the plane would’ve crashed. So, in short, there are people who owe me their lives for keeping up my worry efforts 🙂
Panic can do crazy things to you. You say and do stuff that you wouldn’t normally do. Like try to bribe a nurse with a $20 to take an IV out of your arm because you’re in the ER due to a bad reaction to some meds. (My mother was mortified) I could probably fill up pages and pages of blog notes with my “panic/worry moments”… fear over taking a new med, seeing new doctor, allowing my child to go to his first sleepover, worry about my husbands airline travel… And least we not forget, performing self-levitation upon going into a closed MRI tube.
Here’s the deal…& I’m not going to mix words…I have had moments where, quite simply, I’ve had to put on my big girl panties and get the job done. Fear is not of the Lord. Does it mean that I’m no longer scared of medical procedures, diagnosis or airline travel…heck no! I’m scared stiff. But my God is bigger. Recently I’ve had to begin taking a new drug. Last week my doctor told me that a possible side effect from this drug is hair thinning. WHAT!?! I had somehow missed that in my research of this drug. So, on top of the annual blood tests to ensure my liver can handle the drugs I give it, & the balance issues, & fatigue, &… Etc… I am now going to begin counting every hair that I loose to ensure it stays at a minimum. ( considering shorter hairstyle)
There is simply no way to predict our future. We can only live one day at a time. Life WILL be unpredictable and you WILL be scared. It’s like Christ said…In this world you will have trouble; but take heart, I have overcome the world. The Israelites really struggled with that one. Every time you turn around they are complaining about no food, no water, no shelter. Complaints usually came just after God would perform a miracle and bring food or water. Any time I read the Old Testament, I always think to myself…what’s the deal with these people!? Why are they complaining (worrying, fretting, brooding, …and dare I say it…panicking) about food? Did they not just witness the miracle of God bringing water out of a rock? Enter self-righteousness …I would never act like that. ***STOP*** … Or would I?
If I had a nickel for every time I worried out a problem vs. making it a matter of prayer, I’d be a wealthy women. The richest blessings I have known are when I finally let go of my fear/dread/panic/worry and bring them to the Lord in prayer. Its like I am finally able to show up and face the problem rather than shove my head in the sand and allow my worries to dictate my emotions and actions. And quite frankly, how do you expect to see the Lord perform a miracle if you don’t show up?!?
It’s not my intent to belittle your problems or anyone else’s problems. God isn’t always going to rescue you from your problems; but he does dole out the peace. Are you still going to be inclined to worry…does a one-legged duck swim in circles? Of course! Christ said, “Peace I give you, My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.” There is no real peace in this world…not the kind that will sustain. Christ’s peace is supernatural. Put your worries aside and put on your big girl pants. Be fully present & ready to receive grace.